Beatles vs. Stones

Mick Jagger Can't Sing

Mick Jagger's voice is of such a quality that he has been known to be mistaken for a baboon under the simultaneous influence of H1N1, Montezuma's Revenge and Japanese cartoon-induced seizure.
Inverted Musical Growth

1969 called and they want their pilfered and poorly executed pseudo blues songs back.
Ringo

Ringo is a crappy drummer.
Sgt. Pepper's

Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band is, along with Jimi Hendrix's Are You Experienced, the most groundbreaking LP in rock music history.
George Harrison is Selfish

He didn't want to share his Hawaiian beachfront with the locals. That bastard.
Shovels break ground too.

And they're a lot less annoying than Paul McCartney.
Keith Richards Won't Die

He's a million years old, and he still rocks (but only for several million dollars a night). While it would be fun to see him take a dirt nap, at least we won't have to endure the incessant playing of his crappy solo albums on the radio. In Mick's case, it'll be worth it.
Charlie Watts Won't Live

Ringo may be a less than stellar drummer, but at least he's got a pulse. And you can ask anyone over 30 on the street "Who's Ringo?" and they'll say "He's the guy from the Beatles". If you asked the same question regarding Charlie Watts, you'd probably get something about a chocolate factory and a light bulb.
That's Not All Shovels are Good For

Shovels are also good at distributing elephant dung, the musical equivalent of which has been the Stones musical career.
The Beatles Hate You

Beatles worshippers, I've got news for you. John, Paul, George and Ringo, they not only hated each other, they hate all of you, too. It's probably one of the many reasons they spent almost their entire career holed up in a studio geeking out. They can't stand the sight of you. Or maybe they knew they were be a terrible live band, and didn't want anyone to find out they weren't musical Gods. But go ahead, keep on worshipping them. They spit on your love.
Hi, I'm John Lennon.

I hate all this attention. Why won't people just leave us alone? Oh by the way, could you please film every moment of my life? Even if I'm just reading the paper or taking a dump. That would be grand. But please, leave me alone.
Groundbreaking Haircuts.

They created a stir in the US because of their fucking cute haircuts, okay? Those groundbreaking haircuts, and groundbreaking music like "Please, Please, Me" "Eight Days A Week" and a bunch of other bubble gum pop that was indistinguishable from the rest of the chart-topping hits in that era. If they would have been ugly, like the Stones, would they even had made a dent? I think you know the answer.
Six. Not bad.

It only took 6 anti-Beatles posts before the subject of their music came up. I'm surprised, you did better than I expected! But then you negated that by 1. being wrong, and 2. going on about how pretty the Beatles are. So, all your Beatles venom really amounts to a knee-jerk coping mechanism for your subconscious attraction to John, Paul, George and Ringo? Or is it just Paul? We can tell Paul is your favorite. It's ok.
Haircuts?

The Beatles haircuts did create quite a stir, I admit. And you're right, the Stones are ugly. Neither affects the quality of each body of work. Having been a toddler when each of these bands originated, I can tell you that it didn't matter a bit what their haircuts were like, or how generally unwashed Mick and Keith appeared. Still doesn't.
Thanks for reminding me

I was just about to comment on the utter lack of "loving the music" I've seen from the Beatles posts. It's typical of Beatles freaks. All they ever talk about is how "groundbreaking" their music was. But you rarely hear "I love that song" or "Man, Paul just kills it on the bass". It's never about the music for Beatles fans, only about the "effect" their music had on other music. But when you refuse to actually play in front of people, that'll happen. I love the Stones' music. If you like blues-based rock 'n roll, it thrills the soul. C'mon, tell me some songs you love, some songs that move you, or kick you in the ass. But stop it with how "important" music has to be. It doesn't. It's music. It just has to be really, really good.
Blues-based Rock. Pffft.

I'll give you this, if you like blues-based rock, the Stones are the band for you. If for no other reason than the efficiency. You can have one Stones album, and you've more or less got them all. And it doesn't matter which one, either - with the exception of their disco work. Then again, you could just buy a blues record. I'll bet when you dabble in rap music you go right for the Vanilla Ice.
You're right, I love Paul

I used to hate him, but after he did "My Brave Face" it was all over. I swooned. Or maybe it was after I heard his "High School Prom Dance Classics For Teenage Girls" album. Wait, sorry. That was actually the Beatles' first record. My apologies.
Ice, Ice, Baby

It's surprising to see you rip Vanilla Ice, knowing how much you love a cute haircut.
You're Missing the Point. Which Explains a Lot.

The "groundbreaking" aspect of the Beatle's has nothing to do with how important or influential their music is/was. The fact that it's groundbreaking speaks to their creativity, a characteristic that is sadly lacking from a certain overpaid blues cover act. Yngwie Malmsteem was groundbreaking and influential, but I'm not writing on a site about him - because his music sucks.
You Brought Your Queen Out Too Early.

That's a bold move, going after McCartney's solo career. Should I remind you of Jagger's? Between '85 and '93 Jagger released She's The Boss, Primitive Cool, and Wandering Spirit - which almost achieved the same level of artistry as How Could It Be, So Happy, and Love's Alright, ill-advised musical endeavors also perpetrated during that same period - by Eddie Murphy.
Haircuts?!

Ron Wood. The prosecution rests.
My Favorite Beatles Songs

I have to admit, this list can be expanded upon, but here goes: Come Together • A Day in the Life • All You Need Is Love • You've Got to Hide Your Love Away • We Can Work It Out • Day Tripper • Hello, Goodbye • The Fool on the Hill • While My Guitar Gently Weeps • Get Back • Don't Let Me Down • All My Loving • Can't Buy Me Love • Eight Days a Week • I Feel Fine • Ticket to Ride • Yesterday • Help! • Drive My Car • Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) • Nowhere Man • Michelle • In My Life • Girl • Paperback Writer • Eleanor Rigby • Strawberry Fields Forever • Penny Lane • Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band • With a Little Help from My Friends • Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds • Lady Madonna • Hey Jude • Revolution • Back in the U.S.S.R. • Old Brown Shoe • Here Comes the Sun • Something • Let It Be • A Hard Day's Night • And I Love Her • Across the Universe • The Long and Winding Road
My Favorite Stones Song?

I do have a favorite Stones song, too, which is "She Said Yeah" ... because it's the shortest.
I love Yoko

This annoying hedgehog tore the Beatles apart, and for that I thank her. Small thanks also go out to John Lennon for being too much of a pussy to stop her.
Those Are Some Classics

I bet they really reinvented those songs live, on stage, in front of an actual audience. I'd love to hear some live versions of those. Know where I can find any? Oh, that's right. They stopped playing gigs shortly after they became a teeny-bopping pop band, and continuted their no-show well after the "screaming teenage girls" had merit as an excuse for not doing so. I bet Peter Tork probably knows more about playing live than Lennon does.
Brian who?

You know their music sucks and the musicians that perform the music suck when one of the members dies and they go ahead and play a show 2 days later. "Brian Jones, don't take it personally, mate - we'll just start hiring American musicians that actually created something original"
Death

Some musicians move on after the death of a band member. And some start a band called Wings.
Moving On

When I hear the term "moving on" I associate it with forward progress. The only thing that's progressed with the Stones is that their faces look more and more like catcher's mitts every decade.
Where's the Frame?

Oscar Wilde wants Keith to know that he appreciates his support, but Dorian Grey needs his painting back.
Single white female

I just saw Mick Jagger singing "I saw her standing there" at the 1988 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction of The Beatles (on TV) and he looked like my grandma's girlfriend.
Gargling?

When Mick Jagger sings, it looks like he's trying to swallow Poseidon's invisible "trident", if you know what I'm saying.
No Argument.

I'm supporting the Stones, just because I feel like being contrary.
One is the Loneliest Number

The Rolling Stones are so musically stagnant that they should change their name to Mick Jagger and the One Dimension. I've seen mosquito-infested swampy bogs with more musical growth.
Doppleganger

I'm watching Mick Jagger on Larry King Live right now. Thank god for the suspenders, I'm finding it hard to tell who's who.
beatles vs stones

The beatles were way better than the stones even if they had weird haircuts if you ask anyone if theyve heard of the beatles they woulds say yes because they are famous all around the world
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The Stones are old and ugly

Go ahead and take shots at how old Jagger looks. It's what happens when you don't die. If Lennon were alive today, he would probably look like one of the ass polyps on Larry King's first ex wife. Then again, the Stones were never pretty like the Beatles, even in the beginning (Cue 15 year-old girl screams). Guess they had to make it on more than looks and cute mod haircuts.
Wash up, Beatles fans

The Beatles are the musical version of a bidet: Made for pussies who like to keep it neat and clean.
Mick Jagger...

He sucks. But I love him. He looks like his mom had sex with a neanderthal. Also - his mouth rivals Julia Roberts. Who's mouth rivals Steven Tylers. So by the transitive property of mouths, Mick Jagger had sex with Steven Tyler. It's science.
Warning

You have just insulted a gentleman.
Just Scroll to the Top.

Like the VW pictured above, The Beatles are an icon of creativity and style. The Stones are a big, dumb rock.
Taking a Shot at Jagger

I wish someone would.
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